Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The postives of having 3 kids 4 and under

Having 3 kids 2 years apart has been harder than I thought. It is crazy at times especially trying to take them out or trying keep the house clean with a wrecking crew. There are definite positives to having 3 kids 4 and under.

One positive is that the kids are close in age but I was able to give them over a full year of breastmilk before my supply dropped due to pregnancy.

The best part is watching the kids interact. They definitely have their moments of sibling rivalry but watching them interact is all worth it. Delia and Teddy share a room right now. Teddy never did well cosleeping. We woke each other up and he nursed constantly in the bed. When I moved him to the crib he still woke a lot. He sleeps so well ever since he is with Delia now. I like doing the bedtime routine together and how they fall asleep at the same time and wake up together.

Teddy and Delia play really well together. I think it part of the reason Teddy didn't start talking until now is because Delia knew what he wanted. Delia used to come to me and tell me whole sentences Teddy was saying before he could talk and she usually was right. Unless she was trying to get him in trouble ; ) I love watching Teddy play develop with Delia. Delia always has been very imaginative. Teddy used to not know exactly what she was doing but he would enjoy playing anyway. Now he takes part more and more in the imaginative stuff. He loves cooking so they both cook together. Delia never was a get into everything kid but Teddy was. Teddy used to get her to cause trouble for him. They play together all day and get goofy, run all over the place, and then play imaginatively. They fight over toys and  bicker then make up and get into trouble.

When Cora was born Delia loved being a big sister. She was always asking to hold her and helping get her diapers or pick out her clothes. She always asks to pick her up. She started calling her favorite baby doll her Cora and she would act out all the things I did with Cora with her Cora. She did that with Teddy too but it is cool to see how much more elaborate it gets as she gets older.

I was worried how Teddy would react to his sister. He never seemed interested in babies and would ignore them. He definitely has his ways of acting out and wanting attention since she was born but he also really likes her. He tells her hi and kisses her. He will ask to hold her and try to pick her up. He has scratched her and thrown things or tried to hit her but he also talks about her and makes her laugh.

I was wondering how Cora would react to such a crazy older brother but she will laugh at him a lot when he is being goofy. He really cracks her up. She also smiles at Delia. I can't wait to see the dynamic between them in another year when Cora is running around with them.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Car rides

I'm lucky in that none of my kids had serious issues with car rides. They all had their fussy moments and  didn't like stopping at lights when they were newbies but they for the most part  they don't mind the car. They started out in convertables or an infant seat without a base for Cora. I learned the art of transfering sleepy babies/toddlers from the car seat to their sleeping spots in the house. In the car my kids are all strapped in and can't cause trouble. My seat has a warmer and it feels really nice on a cold day. I can listen to music and have a moment to think. Teddy will often fall asleep on the ride to Delia's preschool. I used to be reliably able to transfer him and have him continue the nap. Then  for a little while after Cora came along he started waking upon transfer and wouldn't go back to sleep. Thankfully he seems to be napping again.

Getting everyone into the car on time is another story. Even when I start getting ready well in advanced the kids plot against me.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Teddy is caught up

Teddy had speech therapy today after a 5 week long break due to the holdiays and us being sick. His therapist said that he is doing great and that his speech is exactly where it should be for his age. She was very happy with all the 2 word phrases he is using and said that the sounds he is missing is very common for his age. 2 months ago Teddy barely had any words so he has come a long way. Yea!!

I just saw a post on mothering that made me sad. A mom was watching a 2 year old boy in her in home day care and he was tackling and pulling down her son. She thought everyone on mothering would have perfect children and that the kid was destined for jail or to be a bully. The kid wasn't even biting or scratching. Just saying stop it and trying to wrestle. I know I should avoid that site but it made me very sad. Most of the advice was to drop the kid from the day care.

I know I should care what others think especially others on mothering.com. I am putting it anyway. Some 2 year old boys are aggresive and it has nothing to do with parenting. A positive environemnt and consistent discipline is needed to deal with the situation but it doesn't solve the problem for all 2 year olds. If you don't have an agresive toddler consider yourself lucky. You get to go out enjoy yourself and not have to helicopter your child around trying to prevent it from happening and then deal with judgement when you let your guard down or your other children need you and it happens.

A 2 year old who is hard to handle, is active, has low frustration tolerance and acts aggresive is not destined for prison or to be a bully. I think it started because Teddy was speech delayed and he didn't know how what else to do. When he tackles he isn't even being aggresive he thinks he is playing and doesn't understand he can hurt other kids. When he scratches throws toys or hits it is because of low impulse cotrol and not knowing what else to do. I am trying to teach him but it isn't sinking in quite yet.

Teddy may act aggresive towards kids his age or younger but he is also a sweet loving little boy. He is affectionate, loves hugs and kisses. He loves his sisters and when adults play with him. He likes to play with his sister's friends and likes older kids. He loves cooking, tools, and playing in pools. He is very social and is not afraid of people. He is learning and hopefully in a year he will be able to play with his peers.

Don't judge him or be horrifed at him or me.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

One of those Days

I'm 4 months into my journey as a mom of 3. Some days I feel like I got it all under control and that 3 kids is no big deal. Today was not one of those days.

Today we had a doctor’s appointment and then we went to a indoor playground since we are finally feeling better and it was freezing out today.

Cora had her 4 month well baby today. She was 12.5 pounds and 24 inches which officially makes her my smallest baby. Doctor declared that she is doing great and not to worry. He said not to worry about her umbilical hernia, how she not into toys yet and clenches her fists or about her sternum bone that sticks out. He said she is doing great socially and with her motor skills. He checked her diaper rash and agreed it was a yeast rash. He checked her ears which were covered in wax and found fluid in both. She had a double ear infection  : ( She also seems to have thrush. She wasn't showing any symptoms. My poor baby.

We went for lunch after the appointment and then to an indoor playground to let the kids burn off energy. Delia got sick on New Years with a terrible cold. She had a fever for almost a week when Teddy came down with it then me, Cora and Mike got it. We were finally all over it and ready to get out of the house. Teddy was behind in his speech and in Early Intervention but has been doing so much better lately. He is adding words every day and putting short phrases together. I used to have to watch him like a hawk on outings because he used to bite then started to hit and scratch. He been really good the past few outings so I was hopeful that maybe because his speech was improving that his aggressive behaviors were improving. I was wrong

Some moms from a meet up group were meeting at the indoor playground so I was chatting and letting Delia and Teddy play. Teddy got upset with another boy and got into it with him. A little while later he was playing in a play house and I saw that he was getting mad. I told him to stop and ran over but he scratched the little boy and he was bleeding a little. The boy got upset and I took Teddy away and had him sit by himself. The owner got the boy a band aid and I had him apologize and then stayed right next to him. He did ok after that for a bit. Then I sat to nurse the baby and he was by a little girl and scratched her. He didn't hurt her but the owner told us to leave.

She felt bad about it and was talking to Teddy as I was getting ready to leave. She said it must be a middle child thing. Then she told me she didn't want to but the mom of the little boy was very upset and she promised to say something if Teddy did something again. I felt like crap after that. I should have known that the other moms were probably judging me and upset. A lot of times I had to put the baby down to get Teddy and she would cry or a kid would almost walk into her. I definitely felt like a bad mom.

Sigh. No more mommy groups for a while. I'll have to watch Teddy like a hawk and go out for short spurts between nursings. I won't really be able to chat with other moms if I go out. I feel bad. I know at lots of the events that moms probably talk about me behind my back. I know there were a few other incidents.

I'm sure I will look back at this and laugh and wish that I have my babies back. I'm sure one day my worries about Teddy will be bigger and that the teen years will be even rougher. It is crazy to have 3 little ones 4 and under. It is an expedition just leaving the house. I don't even get a chance to talk to other moms.  As hard as it is at times I know I will miss these days. They are already going by too fast. I will help Teddy get through this phase and I’m sure one of them will be up to some other craziness after that that we will need to get through. Just when you think you got it figured out they go and throw a curve ball at you.