Tuesday, January 18, 2011

One of those Days

I'm 4 months into my journey as a mom of 3. Some days I feel like I got it all under control and that 3 kids is no big deal. Today was not one of those days.

Today we had a doctor’s appointment and then we went to a indoor playground since we are finally feeling better and it was freezing out today.

Cora had her 4 month well baby today. She was 12.5 pounds and 24 inches which officially makes her my smallest baby. Doctor declared that she is doing great and not to worry. He said not to worry about her umbilical hernia, how she not into toys yet and clenches her fists or about her sternum bone that sticks out. He said she is doing great socially and with her motor skills. He checked her diaper rash and agreed it was a yeast rash. He checked her ears which were covered in wax and found fluid in both. She had a double ear infection  : ( She also seems to have thrush. She wasn't showing any symptoms. My poor baby.

We went for lunch after the appointment and then to an indoor playground to let the kids burn off energy. Delia got sick on New Years with a terrible cold. She had a fever for almost a week when Teddy came down with it then me, Cora and Mike got it. We were finally all over it and ready to get out of the house. Teddy was behind in his speech and in Early Intervention but has been doing so much better lately. He is adding words every day and putting short phrases together. I used to have to watch him like a hawk on outings because he used to bite then started to hit and scratch. He been really good the past few outings so I was hopeful that maybe because his speech was improving that his aggressive behaviors were improving. I was wrong

Some moms from a meet up group were meeting at the indoor playground so I was chatting and letting Delia and Teddy play. Teddy got upset with another boy and got into it with him. A little while later he was playing in a play house and I saw that he was getting mad. I told him to stop and ran over but he scratched the little boy and he was bleeding a little. The boy got upset and I took Teddy away and had him sit by himself. The owner got the boy a band aid and I had him apologize and then stayed right next to him. He did ok after that for a bit. Then I sat to nurse the baby and he was by a little girl and scratched her. He didn't hurt her but the owner told us to leave.

She felt bad about it and was talking to Teddy as I was getting ready to leave. She said it must be a middle child thing. Then she told me she didn't want to but the mom of the little boy was very upset and she promised to say something if Teddy did something again. I felt like crap after that. I should have known that the other moms were probably judging me and upset. A lot of times I had to put the baby down to get Teddy and she would cry or a kid would almost walk into her. I definitely felt like a bad mom.

Sigh. No more mommy groups for a while. I'll have to watch Teddy like a hawk and go out for short spurts between nursings. I won't really be able to chat with other moms if I go out. I feel bad. I know at lots of the events that moms probably talk about me behind my back. I know there were a few other incidents.

I'm sure I will look back at this and laugh and wish that I have my babies back. I'm sure one day my worries about Teddy will be bigger and that the teen years will be even rougher. It is crazy to have 3 little ones 4 and under. It is an expedition just leaving the house. I don't even get a chance to talk to other moms.  As hard as it is at times I know I will miss these days. They are already going by too fast. I will help Teddy get through this phase and I’m sure one of them will be up to some other craziness after that that we will need to get through. Just when you think you got it figured out they go and throw a curve ball at you.

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